Adulting is hard enough as it is- but more so in a new environment. Listed below are the issues that no one warned me about moving abroad:
The standard of living
I live in a tiny tiny studio apartment- the whole apartment being the size of my bedroom in Bhutan- and I pay $840 for it, which in Ngultrums is a staggering 70,000! The mental math I do to convert everything into Nu. every time I attempt to buy something hasn’t been very good for my mental health.
Also, how is everything so expensive?! I’ve lived in the US before- I don’t remember a small bottle of coke costing $3.5! Like there is no way I’ll be spending Nu. 400 on a small bag of chips! In fact, we went the first week without spoons because a single spoon at the store we went to was 2$!!! Can you believe it? Almost Nu. 200 for one piece of cutlery. So, like most frugal Bhutanese, I ended up stealing plastic cutlery from my orientation, which is still being reused by the way. (Life hack: take an extra bag to your orientation just for all the freebies! And do not be afraid to ask people to take something. More often than not, things at these events are totally free to take home!)
No one talks about how difficult to be in a country where things are so convenient but also expensive. Ordering literally anything- and I mean anything- right to your doorstep is at your fingertips, but also at the cost of your internal organs!
Decision fatigue
There are soo many apps with soo many items with soo many different deals. No, it is not a shopper’s paradise. In fact, shopping becomes draining when there are too many things to choose from. From the comfort of my home, I can buy anything… literally anything! And that’s the problem! It’s so difficult to settle on one thing because you have that feeling that something much better is out there, something cheaper, some better style that you keep piling things up in your online shopping cart and never even get around to ordering it.
Similarly, you walk into a grocery store- there are 100 different types of milk to choose from. How do you even know which one is the best? How do you even get around to trying them all?! As you can see, making fast decisions has never been my strong suit.
Taxing and tipping culture
In Asia, we don’t really have a taxing or tipping culture- I mean, you could if you wanted to but it is not mandatory. However, in the West, it is totally mandatory. If you don’t want any side eyes or your waiter to spit in your food, tip at least 5%. In fact, we went to Chinatown one day and tipped 3$. The lady was not happy, she came back with a suggested tip amount and well, it wasn’t really a suggestion, was it? And I do get it, we need to be more appreciative of service workers- especially because a majority of their income is from tips. However, being from a culture that is not used to it, I get a mini heart attack every time I see the taxes on my bill or the “suggested" amount I need to tip the worker. I will order something worth 20$ and probably pay around 10$ in taxes and tips.
Wanting to “fit in”
When in Rome, be like the Romans. I don’t know about you but I am not someone who likes to stand out. At least this time around, unlike during my time in El Paso, there are many Asians around so physically I’m not too much of an anomaly. However, culturally, I am very different from the people in Philly. I am trying to learn as much as I can about the history and the locals. Although that is good, I am worried that I am doing it just so I will be able to fit in better. Whenever I am in public, I look around to see what everyone else is wearing, what they are doing, how they are sitting, just so I can embody some of these into my own personality so I don’t stand out as much. Adaptability is a strength, but not much so when it overpowers your sense of self.
The Imposter Syndrome
I have struggled with the Imposter Syndrome since I was a teenager- and trust me, it doesn’t get any better, especially not when you are in an Ivy League school with the brightest minds in the world. Whenever I am in class, I cannot help but wonder if I really do deserve a place here or if I was just a diversity acceptance for the school. The Imposter Syndrome is never good for my self-confidence, but the advantage of it is that it does propel me to work harder. I have been doing all the readings and assignments for my classes, asking questions in class, and even taking online courses to supplement what I learn in class. I keep telling myself- if I am really an imposter, I damn well be a good one at it.
Fearing for your safety
Being away from home is scary- especially when you still haven’t navigated the place or the culture fully yet. It is never a good idea to wander alone by yourself- even during the day. I really want to explore more and be more adventurous- get out of my comfort zone but when it is in a not so safe unknown city, it can get pretty scary.
I keep getting text messages like these from the school- which is obviously a safety precaution- but has the opposite effect on my sense of safety.
Of course, even Bhutan isn’t completely safe, but there is a sense of safety and comfort when you can navigate the place and when you know that you can always call someone if you feel you need help.
The grappling sense of independence (aka loneliness)
There are times when I just sit and wonder- that I am in a completely new city, a new country- where most people don’t even know I exist. I don’t know how things work, I might not be able to pay a bill on time or maybe I am doing something completely differently than I am supposed to but there isn’t anyone to correct me. That puts me in a mind-blown state of either loneliness or a sense of freedom and independence- depending on what kind of mood I am in.
I remember when I used to be in Bhutan and I would watch Instagram stories of people abroad and envy them. And now, in a twist of events, here I am- at my dream school- watching stories from Bhutan and wishing to just have chosen to live a simple life instead.
To anyone reading this, I am sorry this took such a dark turn and that I am being a grinch to anyone who wants to move abroad or already are. However, this is just my perspective based on my experience and where I live. Things could be completely different in a different place but I just wanted to use this platform to share (aka warn) with others what to expect.
Nevertheless, I do feel extremely grateful for this journey for even having had the opportunity to feel all these emotions and to learn everything I have learned so far.
The world is my oyster! And I can be an imposter pearl in it!