I remember having an existential crisis back in college- I had just moved to a new country, I was learning to adapt to a new life and culture on top of pretending to be an independent adult. Every now and then, I would be thinking about my purpose in life. Up until that point, I had always known what I was supposed to do (which was to study and just be a good kid to the best of my ability).
Suddenly, I was questioning everything- what did it mean to be a "good kid"? Did I choose the right path? What is my purpose in life? ...
Looking back now, I find it hysterical. Did I really worry about and waste so much time on such thoughts? Now that I am older, I realize that the answer to all those things is- No one cares!
For me to have worried about everything like that was self-centered- Who am I? What does the future hold for ME? What is my "destiny"? Where is my soulmate? - The earth has billions of people and gazillions of souls- the universe (the one we trust in so much) probably has billions of people and billions of aliens. I might just have been a little selfish to think that the universe cared so much about a single person. I can barely keep track of the 10 people in my life, I doubt the universe can keep track of and make everything right for every single soul in it.
As dark and melancholic as this may sound, it's actually quite liberating. The fact that it doesn't matter whether we succeed or fail or if we end up doing anything at all- puts a lot of pressure off of me.
Life without a purpose, life where it doesn't even matter if you have a purpose or not means that you can go ahead and do whatever you enjoy! Of course, this may sound like a downer to some people but to me, someone who has been overthinking life for two decades- this is a sense of comfort and relief.
Every time I catch myself overthinking, I just tell myself- no one cares! In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter! Nothing matters!
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