I can’t believe it’s been a year since my last post! Haha… get it? Lame jokes aside, I really can’t believe 2018 is over. 2018 has been a whirlwind of experiences that have changed my perception of my own existence. It has arguably been the most eventful and rewarding year of my life.
I usually create a New Year resolution for myself, but unlike most people I actually stick to it for the most part. But the funny thing is that most of the time, my New Year resolution is the opposite of the previous year’s resolution. Like for example, my resolution for 2017 was to not take anybody’s shit and just do whatever I wanted. Well, what I usually want to do is stay holed up in my bed watching Netflix. But as 2018 approached, I realized that it was my final semester of college. I could not afford to spend my precious time doing nothing memorable. So, my resolution for 2018 was to do new things, hang out with people even when I wasn’t in the mood to, and basically to be a social butterfly.
The year started off slow and I got some much-needed “me-time”. My roommate and I had separate vacations for the first time in our four years of college. I spent days in bed and enjoyed every second of it. So much for sticking to my New Year’s resolution? However, in between each lazy day in bed, I went out with my friends, got lunch with my co-workers, went ice-skating, and so on. I traveled by myself for the first time when I flew from Texas to Massachusetts to go visit my friend. I almost froze to death but it was definitely worth it. I learnt the excitement of trying new things.
I did not have too many classes for my last semester. So, I spent majority of my time hanging out with friends. I formed special bonds with many people. Being someone who prefers to be a loner, I understood the importance of social interactions. There are many moments in life, joyful or sad, that when shared with people feel a lot better. I found solace in not being alone.
I wanted to travel to new places and create memorable experiences. For the last Spring Break of my undergraduate life, my friends and I decided to visit Vegas. I had wanted to go there since freshman year but I wanted to wait till I was legal to get the full Vegas experience. It is probably one of the best places I’ve visited. It really is as crazy and fun as in the movies. Before leaving for Vegas, I had stayed up all night studying gambling rules and tips. I thought that I would have a good chance at Blackjack (also called 21) since it required some logic and math skills. However, upon entering a casino and sitting at a Blackjack table, I lost around $50 in less than a minute. I swore never to gamble ever again. Nevertheless, that one Spring Break in Vegas will always be memorable. I was able to make the best memories.
I graduated Summa Cum Laude in May of 2018. This was a big deal for me as I had struggled with some classes nearing the end of my degree. This was possibly the first time ever that I was struggling with schoolwork. It led to a lot of self-doubt and I wondered if I had chosen the correct major. However, after graduation, I was extremely glad as well as surprised to find out that I had received the Certificate for Academic and Research Excellence in Mathematics. Not only that, but I was also able to top the Preliminary as well as Main Examinations for BCSE. These three achievements in a row were able to regain my faith in myself. I learnt to believe in myself.
In December of 2018, I spent 10 days at Camp RUF (Rural-Urban Friendship). I had volunteered to be a part of the camp. This was completely out of my comfort zone considering I did not really know anyone else at the camp. Being an introvert, ten days is a very short span to bond with the kids or the facilitators. However, I don’t know whether it was the living at close quarters with each other or spending a lot of time together, I was able to create special bonds with a lot of people. Throughout the year, and especially along this experience, I was able to understand myself better. I never knew that it would require going out of my comfort zone to be comfortable in my own skin. I’m discovering more about myself as each day passes.
2018 has overall been a great year for me. I got to meet many special people and travel to amazing places. I’ve created memories that will last a lifetime. I’ve understood the people around me better. More importantly, I’m understanding myself better and learning to be proud of who I am. 2018 has given me a clear career path and the motivation to work hard. The end of 2018 marks four and a half years since my best friend, my grandmother, passed away. There are many times I wish she was still here but each time I do so, I'm fearful. I’m afraid I’ve closed away Agay in the deepest closet of my mind and I’m afraid I’ll forget to open that closet every once in a while.