It was the morning of June 4th in 2014. The entire nation was getting ready to celebrate the birthday of Her Majesty the Queen. I had gotten an unusually early call from my mother who was at the hospital. As per her instructions, I lit up a small butter lamp and along with a short prayer, braced myself for goodbye.
My grandmother, who we lovingly called Agay (go ahead, make fun of that), was 90 and had been sick for quite some time. We saw it coming but that didn't make it any easier. I had to face the fact that I was never going to see my best friend ever again. Agay had raised and pampered my siblings and I and I had actually never been away from her for longer than a month.
Today marks 3 years that Agay's been gone. Sometimes, it feels like she's right beside me while other times, it feels like she wasn't ever there in the first place. I don't really like talking about stuff like this but today's a special day and I would like to share a poem I wrote for a special person.
I wrote this poem for Agay around a year after her death. Reading through it now, the wordings seem awkward but the feelings remain the same. Even though I did not like some of the phrases I used, I decided not to change a single thing to be fair to the part of me who jotted this poem down with feelings so sincere.
To the Woman Who Raised Me
It's the golden time of the year again
but today, I stand alone.
Every breath in your absence
feels the desolation of an empty city.
This is becoming too much for me
to handle. It wasn't meant to be
this way. We were meant to be together
forever, this is anything but fair.
It's amazing how I can remember
every single thing about you,
how everything I see
is a reminder of you.
The creases on my notebook
like the lines on your forehead
and the warmth of the sun
reminds me of your toothless grin.
From my first breath to your very last,
we have tackled through life
with my chubby little hand
slipped into the safety of yours.
As I watch the Autumn leaves
fall, never to be born again,
I realize there's nothing I can do
except watch the wind carry it away.